A picture of our Prime Minister

The below speech was made by Anthony Albanese - member for Grayndler - on the 6th of April, 1998.

Outside of anything ever uttered by The Great Man, it ranks,for mine, as possibly the greatest Australian parliamentary speech ever made. It paints such an accurate picture of our current prime minister that had this been made required reading back in 1998, we would have been rid of the menace that is John Howard a very long time ago:

“Today my grievance is against the Prime Minister (Mr Howard) for his failure to provide leadership. You can trim the eyebrows; you can cap the teeth; you can cut the hair; you can put on different glasses; you can give him a ewe’s milk facial, for all I care; but, to paraphrase a gritty Australian saying, ‘Same stuff, different bucket.’ In the pantheon of chinless blue bloods and suburban accountants that makes up the Australian Liberal Party, this bloke is truly one out of the box. You have to go back to Billy McMahon to find a Prime Minister who even approaches this one for petulance, pettiness and sheer grinding inadequacy. I read the late Paul Hasluck’s description of Billy McMahon, and I cannot find a thing that does not describe this Prime Minister equally well:

I confess to a dislike of McMahon. The longer one is associated with him the deeper the contempt for him grows and I find it hard to allow him any merit. Disloyal, devious, dishonest, untrustworthy, petty, cowardly - all these adjectives have been weighed by me and I could not in truth modify or reduce any one of them in its application to him.

In John Howard, here also is a man, small in every sense. Some have said that he is the worst Prime Minister since Billy McMahon. That is unfair to Billy McMahon. I am one of the few people who have opened up and read David Barnett’s biography of John Howard. I have to admit I have not read it all, because it is impossible to stay awake. I did, however, get to page 17. Here Barnett outlines Howard taking six weeks off work to campaign for the McMahon government. Was Billy McMahon grateful? Barnett outlined:

An appointment was arranged with McMahon in his office in Parliament House. Howard was ushered in, and Bill McMahon jumped to his feet. “No” he said. “I don’t want to see him.” Then McMahon, who also had an appointment with a Japanese delegation, stopped himself. “I thought you were Japanese” he explained.

Barnett goes on to explain what John Howard’s incredibly crucial and high-powered job was in the McMahon campaign; he was given the job of rolling the manual autocue built into McMahon’s podium. How appropriate. In this book Howard is quoted as saying of McMahon ‘he arrived in the job too old and too late’- this from a man who was born old and for whom time has stood still.

But the gulf, Mr Deputy Speaker, between the man in his mind - the phlegmatic, proud old English bulldog - the Winston of John Winston Howard - and the nervous, jerky, whiny apparition that we all see on the box every night. When he looks on the box he gets to see what we see - not the masterful orator of his mind but the whingey kid in his sandpit. Spare a thought for us, Mr Deputy Speaker, because we have to watch this performance every day - the chin and top lip jutting out in ‘full duck mode’.

This prime ministership is not about the future of our nation. It is about John Winston Howard’s past. We do not hear about the future of this nation when we listen to this Prime Minister. In every performance all we get are his life’s grievances. All we get is the accumulated bitterness and bile of 13 long years in opposition and the people he blames for keeping him there.

John Winston Howard grew up in the inner west of Sydney. His father owned a service station on the corner of the street where I now live. These were the halcyon days of little Winston’s life - when the working classes knew their place and when all migrants were British. Lucky John Winston Howard moved further north across the harbour. He certainly would not be comfortable living in the inner west of Sydney any more. A bit too much change for his lifetime.

John Howard has always been proud to call himself a conservative. The problem I think is that he has confused this with preservative. He probably wishes good old Ming had dosed the country with formaldehyde when he had the chance. Because it all started going wrong in the late 1960s. Here is a man who lived at home until he was 32. You can imagine what he was like. Here were young Australians demonstrating against the Vietnam War, listening to the Doors, driving their tie-died kombi vans, and what was John Howard doing? He was at home with mum, wearing his shorts and long white socks, listening to Pat Boone albums and waiting for the Saturday night church dance.

Yes, it all started to go wrong back in the 1960s. Radical and sinister notions of equality for women, world peace and, dare I say it, citizenship rights for indigenous Australians. So what do we hear when we listen to John Winston Howard today? We hear the hatred and resentment in his voice - the sort of hatred and resentment we saw at the reconciliation conference last year - hatred and resentment from a man who was never part of the scene, who was not accepted, for whom a different life was too big a leap and who took refuge in a previous generation. You can see it in his instinctive hatred of any progression, and he sees it everywhere - policies of social inclusion, multiculturalism, women’s liberation, Aboriginal reconciliation. In all of them he only ever sees the jump he was too weak to make decades ago. Now he wants the whole nation to stay back and keep him company.

Try an interesting little exercise some day. Punch `Howard’ and `multiculturalism’ into the Hansard database. You will find he has never mentioned the word. When you punch in `Howard’ and ‘multicultural’ you do get it nine times but each and every time he is referring to the Minister for Immigration and Multicultural Affairs. This is the man we have leading the country - a man who is so instinctively petty and so bitterly obsessed that he could craft an entire parliamentary career without mentioning the word `multiculturalism’ and what that represents, because it is an idea he is opposed to. He is positive]y Orwellian in his pettiness. This is a smallness of mind, a meanness with breathtaking scope - I can just imagine his enormous pride at this aspect.

It is a small thing really but remember when the Spice Girls came to Australia at the beginning of the year? Everyone said it was just the silly season that the Prime Minister’s refusal to meet with them got so much press. Well it was and it was not. What did he say? He said it would not be ‘appropriate’ to meet with them. That is vintage John Winston Howard. If he really did not want to meet them he could have just said he was on holiday at Hawks Nest - same place, same flat every year for decades - with the family and that would have been fair enough. People would have respected that. But he could not resist. He could not resist telling the youth of Australia that he thought they were infantile and stupid and therefore it would be inappropriate to meet these people who, after all, are Tory supporters from Britain.

We have a man leading this country who is prepared always to go out of his way to insult people he does not like, but not with the courage to come out and say it but do it sneakily. Weakly and sneakily. Weaseling around the point. Remember when he decided to give Jeff Kennett a blast? He does not do what anyone else would do - go into parliament or outside and do a doorstep. He tells the coalition party room and then organises for one of his mates to leak it. No wonder Jeff thought it was so funny.

This is the man we have leading this country - yesterday’s man, a weak man, a little man, a man without courage and a man without vision. Billy McMahon in short pants. This is the man who has brought the full force of his personality to bear on Australia. Australia is now learning what it is like live life through John Howard’s eyes. This is the man whose only aim in the end - forgetting the prime ministership - was to pay back all those who had tried to stop him along the way. Australia is a better country than that and Australians are better people than that. Australians are, if we are anything, courageous people.

So steeped in conservative values and fear of what is new is John Winston Howard that, if he were born before the Wright brothers, he would have organised a campaign against air travel of any description on the grounds that it was new and potentially dangerous. He is an antique, a remnant of the past that should be put on display, but not in government and certainly not in a leadership position, for anachronisms belong in museums and historical texts, not in parliament. Australians deserve a courageous leader; they do not deserve the kind of leader that used to dob on them in the schoolyard. They do not deserve John Winston Howard and in time they will put him out to pasture. Roll on that day, come the federal election.”

Brilliant.

Roll on that day, come the federal election.

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For whom the bell tolls

Paul J Keating - John W Howard

Some time this year, John W Howard will suffer the ignominy of a humiliating defeat.

It should have been (and perhaps still will be) at the hands of his long suffering treasurer Peter Costello.

Anyone who remembers John “The Boy Treasurer” Howard’s time at the helm of the economy in the Fraser government knows that Howard’s oft repeated mantra of “good economic managers” knows that the good fortunes that this country has enjoyed over the past 15 years or so have had little to do with Howard’s ability to manage the economy.Whilst rusted on Liberals will often trot out figures such as “17% interest rates under Labor”, they seem to forget that there were “22% interest rates under Howard”.

They also conveniently forget that it was the courageous and visionary reforms of Keating in the Hawke government of the mid to late eighties that set Australia on the path toward prosperity.

Costello has steered the ship competently but without the fiscal or economic vision that was Keating’s birthright.
He has been overshadowed by the dominant personality of Howard - without precedent as the most controlling party leader this nation has ever seen - he has attempted to speak out on social issues on occasion, to espouse his vision for a kinder, more forgiving, harmonious Australia but one gets the feeling that he has been privately chastised for doing so… his views on matters of social policy have often been in direct contrast to Howard’s.

Costello may make a good opposition leader, but would he make a good Prime Minister?

Sadly I don’t think that we will ever know. Howard shafted him on the leadership deal and Costello has never had the fortitude to stalk him from the back bench.

I am looking forward to the demise of John Howard. In all the time he has been Prime Minister of this country, he has done one wonderful thing - an undeniably wonderful thing - the introduction of gun control laws.

Aside from that, I cannot think of anything positive to say about the man. Certainly it can be said that he is tenacious and stubborn, a fighter perhaps but these attributes he displays to a fault.

He is quite possibly the nastiest, most divisive, intolerant, unkind, most mean spirited Prime Minister that this country has seen.

However his demise comes about, be it at the hands and pencils of the Australian people or the knife of Costello, it will be a sweet moment for all those who yearn for this country to return once again to the kind, tolerant, benevolent, open place it used to be.

I am sure that Paul J Keating wakes up with a massive grin each and every day.

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The insanity within

The Australian had the good judgement to post this article by John Heard.

Heard is intentionally provocative, yet, for his age, quite well versed. Sadly though, his latest article does neither he nor his argument any justice:

God is not responsible

Whilst Heard violates all the requirements of a logical argument, it is worth reading not only what he has to say, but also the 10 pages of comments that his article attracted. It shouldn’t be too hard to make your own mind up:

(more…)

All tip and no iceberg

Why did we vote this man out?

Australian politics has not and will probably never see his brilliance again.

A true visionary sadly misunderstood by the great unwashed.

Throwing faeces?

And in the news of the indescribable, this exceptionally odd case:

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0337093620070404

TORONTO (Reuters) - A Toronto school principal who pleaded guilty to throwing human excrement at a 12-year-old boy may get her job back, officials said on Tuesday.

“It’s quite possible she’ll end up back in her old position,” said Grant Bowers, a lawyer for the Toronto District School Board.

Maria Pantalone, 49, a sister of Toronto’s deputy mayor, was granted an absolute discharge on assault charges Monday after a judge said she “had already suffered enough,” according to court documents.

The charges stemmed from an incident on July 30, 2006, in which police said Pantalone threw feces at the boy, who was not one of her students, hitting him on the shoulder.

The circumstances of the assault cannot be described due to a court publication ban designed to protect the identity of the victim. The judge in the case, however, said they were unique.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. It was total, total frustration,” Pantalone testified, according to media reports.

She was suspended with pay from her position as an elementary school principal in August 2006.

In his ruling, the judge said Pantalone was “publicly embarrassed, if not humiliated. She has suffered more than most.”

Pantalone is on alternate assignment at school board offices and has no contact with students, Bower said.

Once the school board completes its own investigation, she could return to her previous duties.

“The investigation won’t take long,” Bower said. “The fact that she admitted to the offense is certainly a factor.”

A Toronto school board policy document details rules for the school at which Pantalone was principal that include the need to “show respect for yourself and others,” and “keep hands, feet and objects to yourself.”

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For the love of effigies

Those crazy bastards over there in the sub-continent love their effigies don’t they?

Effigies rock

It has always amused me the burning of effigies - even more so because it tends to be quite prolific amongst cricket fans. This is as amusing as it is confusing.

The poor old Pakistanis and Indians have suffered humiliating defeats at the hands of Ireland and Bangladesh respectively (I don’t know which would be worse considering Jason Gillespie’s double ton against Bangladesh)

It has gotten even worse though with Indian fans not only drowning pictures of their players:

Not drowning, painting

… but storming and trashing the home of one of them:

Riot!

What a bunch of fucking muppets!

I wonder what would happen if they were as mad about soccer as they are of cricket…

It is time that we introduced the art of effigy burning to Australia I believe - the Rugby World Cup should give us a great opportunity to hone our skills.

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Religion

Religion…

I am a very angry man at this point in time.

Why is religion afforded such a special place in society?

Why is it against the law to question or probe certain aspects of that which is known as “faith”?

If a person murders/rapes/molests/assaults someone and tells a priest, it is a “confession” and precluded from any kind of legal examination. If a person does the same thing and speaks with an acquaintance about it, it is a legally admissable statement of guilt.

Both are cries for acknowledgement - why is one protected from exposure and the other is not?

Similarly, why do we tread carefully over peoples faith - why must we respect unquestioningly someones “right” to wear a headscarf, refuse to touch a pedestrian crossing button on a Saturday or insist on dunking their newborns head in a bowl of water?

The loopholes that are made available for people on “the grounds of religion” are as infinite as they are ludicrous.

Why are there so many concessions made upon the assumption that a ghostly entity exists?

That there is a god - or even a god like creature - is highly scientifically debatable. Whilst a religious person may demand that an atheist or agnostic produce proof that their god does not exist, the burden of proof actually lies squarely upon the theist or religious person.

Due to the fact that they have made the initial assertion that a supernatural entity exists, the burden falls upon them to prove the existence.

If I were to assert that a purple dreadlocked pixie who ate seahorse shit lived in my letterbox, people would want proof - much in the same way that people who wish to assert the existence of an omnipotent, omniscient god should be required to.

Why then are there no requirements for measures of proof within our judicial system when it comes to “faith” or religious beliefs?

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The Chilli Farm

After the initial setbacks caused by the vandals, the chilli farm is coming along nicely.

Clicking on the images will give you a better view…

The next crop

In there we have:

  • Fresno
  • Bulgarian Carrot
  • Tabasco
  • Aji Omnicolour
  • Satans Kiss
  • Poblano

It might seem funny to the uninitiated but to the chilli afficianado, it is quite normal - there is an addictive quality to capsaicin.

The rush one gets from it isn’t quite like any other high - one has to experience pain prior to the ecstacy - nevertheless, it is quite an exciting lifestyle that of the chilli enthusiast.

It isn’t just the sado-massochistic desire to experience an infernal fire in ones mouth that drives us to continue to sample the many varieties of chilli that are out there any more than a boxer or karateka desires a broken nose.

The eating of chilli is an art - as is the growing.

After suffering quite a setback (having had branches torn from it by vandals), the habanero has become somewhat recalcitrant and begun to sprout some enormous leaves and fruit. Below is an example of a still green pod that is almost 7cm long:

The hab

They are all completely organic, these chillis and I can’t wait to taste the habaneros.

The other plants that are fruiting at the moment are the Black Prince and the Red Cayenne.

The Black Prince - below - are some of the nicest chillis that I have ever tasted.

Black Prince

They rate at about a 7 on the heat scale but have a wonderful creeping heat and a very sweet burn to them. I quite enjoyed the first bite a mate had of one…

“These aren’t hot, you are soft…”

10 seconds later…

“Jesus… man, these are bloody hot!”

They have a really nice flavour and a great bite - highly recommended.n They begin their life as a lovely purple flower, turn into a black pod and eventually make their way through purple to red at ripeness.

Finally, the red cayenne - not all that exotic, but a nice taste and heat…

Cay

If you haven’t tried a fresh chilli, lash out - do something different - give it a crack - you might get hooked!

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Insanity

Just a quick post to discuss the insanity of our world…

In a week where:

- QANTAS was put on the open market (yet another Australian assett up for  grabs…)

-  A Garuda Airlines plane burst into flames

-  A woman was killed by a cyclone in WA

- Brian  Burke wasn’t mentioned in parliament

- Our lord and master Paul Keating made a foray into politics again

Things just didn’t make sense.

Howard, hypocrisy, dishonesty, panama hats

Honest John

That this matter involving Kevin Rudd’s three meetings with Brian Burke even rated a mention in parliament (let alone the protracted airing that it has been given) shows just how farcical and desperate the Howard government has become.

Over at the SMH, Aaron Timms paints the matter in this amusing light:

“It used to be that the Panama was a sign of style and sophistication. Now it is short for suburban Italian meals and illegal mobile phone conversations involving repeated use of the word mate. Even over the past week, as the hat has remained malevolently glued to Burke’s scalp, it has been hard to escape the feeling that somewhere underneath that straw crown there must be at least a couple more Labor ministers hiding from the fact that they once shared a cream bun with Burke in the late 1990s.”

But in all seriousness, the vitriol that has been slung at Rudd in parliament by Abbott, Costelloand their increasingly rattled master Howard has been extraordinary - not the least when one considers the age old adage “let him without sin…”.

The mudslinging almost backfired spectacularly when it was discovered that one of the Liberals senior ministers, Ian Campbell, had not only met with Burke, but invited him into his office.

In a truely bizarre set of circumstances, instead of this becomming a problem for the government, it actually had the effect of reintroducing the long forgotten “ministerial code of conduct“.

One could be forgiven for wondering if we are living in a parrallel universe.

This government has a long and well publicised history of lies, coverups, disgraceful behaviour, scandals and misinformation.

- The alleged WMDs and the invasion of Iraq
- The Vivian Salon debarcle
- The David Hicks disgrace
- Children overboard
- No GST, never ever
- The Peter Reith phone card affair
- The bribes paid to Saddam Hussein under the auspices of the AWB

… hold on… Bribes? Saddam Hussein?

Yes indeed. And the two ministers who oversaw these bribes, Alexander Downer and Mark Vaile (Downer allegedly even signed a document authorising the bribes) not only maintain their roles within Howard’s government, but they are the Foreign Minister and Deputy Prime Minister respectively - two of the most senior positions in the government.

Vaile and Downer

They may not have known that the $290 million, yes, $290,000,000 was going toward directly funding Saddam Hussein’s regime, but the incompetence that they displayed in allowing this terrible transgression should not only have cost them both their jobs but also their entitlements and superannuation.

What did poor old Ian Campbell do?

He met a fat, balding man in a Panama hat.

He has been forced to fall on his sword so that Howard and his minions may continue to pursue this pathetic line of attacks on Rudd.

This all reeks of a very deep sense of desperation and fear. The government has realised that there is a strong desire for change in the Australian populace and know that Rudd is a very credible alternative.

Their mudslinging is puerile and pathetic - what is worse is that they expect the Australian people to swallow the crap that they are dishing up.

Paul Keating put it wonderfully when interviewed on the ABC today:

The Great Paul Keating

“The little desiccated coconut [Howard] is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands on,”
“Brian Burke and Julian Grill, they are the Arthur Daley and Terry of the West Australian Labor Party. They are like the wallpaper over there. You can’t visit Perth without running into them”

The best quote was the one that he left for Costello though:

“He’s all tip and no iceberg”

I can’t wait to vote this year…

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